Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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