You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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