I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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