So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
