Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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