And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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