im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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