ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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