Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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