so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
