I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
