I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
