When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
