Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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