Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
