I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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