Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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