it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Couch. On fire.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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