He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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