She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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