you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
