I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
