Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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