Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How external is "for external use only"?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
