My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
