her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
