well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
