I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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