Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
