I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
