I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
