eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize