he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
