You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
