he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
