So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
