East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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