Duck Duck Cougar?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
