i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
