..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
