He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
