It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
