We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
