Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
