I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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