It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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