You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
