I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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