I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
