I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
