I hate your face
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
