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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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