Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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