That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
