This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so let's talk penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
