Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
