How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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