Umm I'm too high to move.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
