Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize