I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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