Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
