spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The beer is more important than you right now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
